Are you a yo-yo dieter?
Don’t worry, most people are. But here’s the scary part… if you’re overweight now, chances are you will ALWAYS be fat and will steadily get heavier as time goes on.
You’ve lied to yourself and your loved ones over the years, countless times.
“I’m sick of being fat, I swear I’m gonna lose weight this year”
Yeah right, of course you are… fat pants.
The reason I say you “lied” is because you know full well that you’re not going to lose the weight, regardless of how much will power you have and how determined you are.
Sure, some people might… buuuuuut most people won’t.
In a recent study conducted by King’s College in London, researchers were astonished to find that only 1 in 210 men and 1 in 124 women would return to a normal weight after being a fatty-boom-batty (clinically obese) within a year of dieting.
It’s even worse if you’re a pro-fatty-boom-batty (severely obese).
Less than 1%!
That means that 99% of people who are currently exploding in size WILL NOT keep the weight off after losing it.
So what’s the damn point in losing weight in the first place if you’re just going to put it all back on again a year later??
There is no point. You might as well just stay plump and lazy.
But it gets even worse….
Another study has shown that blubbernaughts are in fact less intelligent than thin people.
Yes, you read that right.
People who “suffer” from eating disorders, i.e they shove more food into their mouths than thinner people, have less grey and white matter in vital areas of the brain.
What the feck does that mean?
Well, it means that you will develop a distorted reward mechanism that leads to uncontrolled eating patterns.
So a thin person might say…
“Those doughnuts look damn good, but they make me fat, so I won’t have one”.
Whereas a fat person would say…
“Mmmm, doughnuts… I’ll have just one… or maybe two, they are small”
Now before that head of yours explodes with anger, let me just pepper your mind with legitimate reasons why you might still be fat, even though you’ve worked hard in the past to get rid of that jiggly belly (I’m smiling whilst writing this, because I’m positive you’ve never really worked hard at losing weight, even though you think you did).
Why YOU are “big-boned” (and always will be…)
Take a look at every reason on the list below and then I want you to tell me if you’re not being honest with yourself.
1. You eat too much. Obviously
Now we’re all victims of eating too much food, it’s human nature to eat until you are full or even overly full.
But what hefty people seem to do (this includes you) more than skinnier folk is overeat in excessive amounts consistently.
That means eating your three meals a day, plus snacking on chocolate bars and sugary sweets, plus drinking calories through tea/coffee and more sugar, plus eating more within a meal than you should and not actually controlling your portions.
2. You eat at bad times
Some experts seem to think that eating after a certain time in the day won’t have a detrimental affect on your weight.
That is in fact true… IF you’re eating the right foods AND you’re eating those foods within a 30 minute time period after working out, to fuel your muscles.
Eating a whole pizza and washing it down with a huge bottle of coke at 10pm, without moving your fat arse once is going to have horrible consequences on your body. But you knew that right?
3. Your friends are fat
Did you know that you’re more likely to be a hippo-glottamus if you hang around fat people?
“Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them. W. Clement Stone”
The subconscious mind is a powerful thing, it soaks up everything in your environment and shapes your mind based on what it sees most. If your social circle is mostly large people… yep, you guessed it. You will be fat too.
4. You eat the wrong foods
This is a perfect example of your ignorance. If I were to present you with a salad and a slice of pizza and said, “which one is healthier”. You would 100% go for the salad right?
Then why are you eating foods that you know are bad for you on a regular basis? Well I’ll tell you. It’s because you’re lazy and careless.
Educate yourself on which foods are bad to eat and which are good, then use willpower to stop your sausage fingers from picking the bad foods.
5. You eat more than you burn
Portion control is one thing, but eating more than your daily energy expenditure every day will put you into a calorie surplus and we all know what that means… FAT!
You really need to figure out your TDEE (total daily energy expenditure) and then eat within your limits. It’s very simple, don’t eat more than you should and only eat when you’re full.
Stop being so damn greedy, you absolute tubba lubba.
6. You’re addicted to sugar
Sugar addiction is a real and very serious thing. The more processed sugar you eat, the more likely you are to gain weight and crave junk food.
How do you know if you’re addicted to sugar? Simple. Can you last a full day without ANY processed sugar. So that means no sugar in your tea or coffee, no chocolate bars, no processed foods that contain sugar etc.
If you need a sugar boost to get through the day, then you have a real problem that you need to fix.
7. You eat out of boredom
Boredom eating is something you’re doing subconsciously and it’s one of the quickest ways to get fat. You should be eating when you’re hungry and to the point of being full. Not snacking for the sake of it.
That’s what experts call “consuming empty calories”.
Try removing junk food from your cupboard and also replace junk food snacks with healthier options like celery and hummus or cherry tomatoes. Yes I know it’s not as enjoyable as munching on a big bag of crisps. But so what, it’s better than being fat.
8. You eat convenience food
What would you rather do. Come home on a Friday night after a day at work and cook yourself a healthy meal from scratch or order in a takeaway?
I’m guessing you’d go for the takeaway, like most folks do.
Takeaways and ready-meals are loaded with sodium and sugar which are fat producing monsters. The salt will retain water and damage your blood vessels, whilst the sugar will cause major fat storage. Yuck. Not to mention all the other heart clogging ingredients that are thrown into fast food.
9. You eat cheap food
The cheap food that you buy in the supermarkets and eat at your favourite fast food place are low in cost but high in unhealthy ingredients. They are made purely for profit and nothing else.
You don’t need to buy organic “super foods” only. You can buy vegetables and fruit for pennies if you shop around. The key is to not be lackadaisical and buy in bulk.
10. You have no willpower
Willpower is in most cases not enough to get you through a diet or start living a healthy lifestyle. Which is why you need friends and a positive environment to help influence you.
Having said that, you most likely have zero willpower… which is pretty pathetic. Some willpower will get you to stop eating crap and start exercising more, so stop making excuses.
11. You dismiss common sense
As the saying goes “What you don’t know can’t hurt you”. Even though you know the ready-meal you’re about to buy from the petrol station is high in fat, sugar and salt, you still buy it.
Why? Because you’re giving into your insecurities, you play the fool and trick yourself into thinking that this one meal won’t make a difference. But it will, don’t worry about that.
All you need to do is read the back of the packaging and that should be enough for you to put it down.
A rule of thumb should be… if you can’t pronounce the ingredient, don’t buy it.
12. You give up too easily
If you eat a slice of cake that equates to say 500 calories and you eat it all within 5 minutes. How long do you think it will take to burn that cake off in the gym?
If you’re working out with some intensity, you are looking at burning around 500 calories every 30 minutes. That’s providing you work hard. If you take it easy, those calories will take more than an hour to burn off.
You know this already, yet you still give up too easily with your sad calorie restricting diet and your terrible gym routine. Consistency is where the weight loss happens, not one day on two weeks off.
13. You don’t plan or prep
Prepping your meals every week or every couple of days is one of the easiest ways to ensure that you stay on top of your diet. But do you do it? Hell no, you cook from fresh a couple of times, realise how hard it is and how little time you have and give up.
If you eat the same healthy meals in rotation and prep them once a week, not only will you save time, you will also be more likely to carry on prepping and losing weight.
14. Your friends won’t tell you the harsh truth
You know that skinny friend you have that can eat whatever they like and they don’t put on any weight whatsoever? Well, when you ask them if you look ok or if you’ve put on any weight and they say no…. they are LYING to you!
You are oversized and you do look bigger than your friends, but they don’t want to hurt your precious feelings, so they keep feeding you lies to make you feel better.
15. You think it’s normal
With all the body positive messages you’re seeing these days, I bet you think that being overweight is normal. Well it’s not. The human body was not designed to eat frequent meals everyday and store excess fat for long periods of time.
Just because a fat celebrity tells you he or she is happy with their weight and to screw the trolls online for calling them fat. It doesn’t mean it’s healthy and it certainly doesn’t make it normal.
16. You blame your genes, metabolism and even thyroids
Who’s the first person you should be blaming when you’re overweight? Take a look in the mirror, it’s YOU.
You’re not rotund because of bad genes, freaky genetics, a messed up metabolism or over blown thyroids. It’s because you keep stuffing your chubby face with junk food and you don’t move much. Wake up.
17. You don’t think you’re even that fat
Let me tell you something. You are not big boned, born fat or carrying puppy weight. You are just plain old fat and it’s not healthy. The sooner you realise that you’re tricking yourself, the sooner you will be able to make a change.
Now of course everybody is different and you can weigh more than the person next to you and not look overweight, but common sense prevails here. If you sit down and your belly is oozing over your jeans… you are rotundus-maximus.
18. You are selfish
I’ve heard people say “So what if I’m fat, it’s my body and I can do what I like”. You know what, you’re right, you can.
But when you are a fat person and have an impact on me as a person, that’s when we have a problem.
I don’t want you using up resources on the NHS because of your weight
I don’t want you sitting next to me on a flight, because it will ruin my journey
I don’t want you influencing my children with your toxic unhealthy thoughts about food and diet
I don’t want you to make me feel like I’m a bad person because I question your health
I don’t want you to die if you’re my friend or relative, because that’s going to cause me pain and it may even impact me emotionally and/or financially
Understand what I’m getting at here?
Your selfishness WILL impact me at some point and if you don’t care about that, then screw you.
Stop asking yourself dumb questions
It’s incredibly frustrating when I hear larger people ask questions that they know the answers too. It’s as if they are playing dumb just to get attention or sympathy.
The two most common questions are…
Why am I so fat when I hardly eat?
I work out hard and I’m still fat, why?
Firstly you are fat BECAUSE you eat too much. No you don’t have a thyroid problem and no your metabolism isn’t broken (most likely).
Secondly, when you say you’re “working out hard”, 9 times out of 10… you’re not. In order to burn enough calories to make a difference, you need to be keeping the intensity levels very high during exercise.
You also need to be eating the right foods directly after working out to help build muscle, encourage fat burning and support recovery. But you’re not, you are most likely sucking down a skinny latte and a muffin after 20 minutes on the treadmill.
Conclusion: Let’s wrap this up
Ok the rant is over.
All I ask is that you start taking your diet and life seriously.
Being overweight is a real problem and it’s affecting millions of people everywhere. Those few seconds of mouth pleasure can have disastrous consequences. So just think before shoveling that cheeseburger into your mouth next time.
Oh and one more thing…
Do me a favour and pass this onto a chubster friend of yours. If you really care about them, then they need to know the truth, because in all honesty they are killing themselves slowly.
Think I’m being too harsh on the porkies?